TONTO DIKEH |
HALIMA ABUBAKAR |
Halima Abubakar is angry and she makes no pretence about it! The diminutive
Nollywood actress is upset with a lot of things. Hear the Ebira, Kogi
State-born thespian: “I have really gone through many things in my life. It has
not been an easy journey, but I thank God I was not broken. Sometimes people
make you lose confidence in yourself and you just want to give up. So I am
really happy for my strength and God.
“People are annoying and suddenly they are saying things about me, but it is
okay, it means I'm doing something great, because if you are not doing anything
great, they won't talk about you,” she adds.
Asked to comment on her once robust relationship with Nollywood pal, Tonto
Dikeh, Miss Abubakar waxes philosophical. “Ok, after a while some people just
grow apart in life,” she begins.
“That was the only problem we had, there was never any verbal exchange
between us. Don't forget that between us, there were too many friends. Now, I
don't even have time for friendship, which is the truth because I have grown
wiser now. At a point in life, people just need to go achieve something and
come back. I didn't want to feel awkward in any relationship that is why I
decided to do my own thing. Tonto is an amazing person.”
Halima Abububakar, in this touching interview opens up on her love life,
business, upbringing and many other issues.
Of late, what has been happening to Halima Abubakar?
Of late, what has been happening to Halima Abubakar?
I have been very busy from the beginning of this year. In fact, I am
dehydrated. I was very busy last year. I overdid it and I thought I could do
the same this year but my body can't take it. At the moment, I am treating
stress. My doctor told me that I need a rest. That is why I am at home now.
So what are the current projects
taking your time?
I have been shooting movies in Owerri and Awka but I have not been to any
location in Asaba this year. I have been to Enugu three times and now I am
shooting in Lagos. I am doing a documentary about bullying. You can call it my
pet project. It won't be more than 40 minutes because we don't intend to waste
anyone's time.
Of all charitable causes, why bullying?
Because I have been bullied for most part of my childhood and adolescent
years. I want to focus on this because a lot of people are scared to speak-up
maybe because of threats. These things are serious, parents need to talk to
their kids to find out about this especially kids in boarding schools. It is
not as rosy as it seems. I am inspired by things that has happened to me in my
life to put them in writing and pictures. It is just a subject that I like. We
don't always have to do romance all the time. And whether we admit it or not,
bullying is one of the reasons so many people do what they are not supposed to
do. Some go into smoking weed just for self-worth among peers especially to
prove a point to bullies.
How far have you gone with the
project?
I am doing it bit by bit. I have done about 20 scenes so far. I have
involved students from two schools. I will see how far we can go before the end
of August and I will complete it.
Are you financing a big project of
this nature by yourself?
Well, we overspent on my movie project, The Mistress. We went way overboard
because I lost some tapes from the movie. We are re-shooting about 20 scenes
and that is a lot of money gone down the drain. I now have to recall some
actors. It was really a stressful thing. But I believe it will come out pretty
fine. That is why I have to go through all this stress. I have gotten angry at
others when they call me back for a re-shoot and I can imagine how the people I
am calling back now must be feeling.
Bullying must have been a traumatic
experience for you to decide to make a movie out of it. Could you share some of
the experience with us?
Oh yes! While I was in primary and secondary schools and all the way to my
career in Nollywood, most of my friends have exploited my being quiet in a very
disrespectful manner. Perhaps, because one is not a star or don't have what
they possess and because of this, they don't think you belong to whatever class
they have. I have been through this from fellow actors especially the female
ones. When I look back, I can't fathom what I have put up with in the name of
friendships. But seriously shame on them for making another human being like
them feels worthless.
I am surprised that you are bringing up something that happens among
celebrities, who many don't like to admit
I have no fear about saying this, will they come and beat me for this? I am sure some of them will think that I am mentioning names but I am not here to do that. I am sure when they see the movie I am doing now, everybody will know their characters. People will never come out and say this but when I come out to talk, they would say whatever. Bullying can come in different forms.
Can you tell us what kind of bullying
exists among celebrities?
For instance, some people just don't think that you belong to their clique
or class. Once a friend invited me to be a member of celebrity group on
Blackberry Messenger and I accepted. Not long after, my friend told me that a
certain star just queried my invitation to the group because I am a friend with
people they are not friends with. I was like are they sharing money for being a
member of this group? I am so ashamed of the person. Interestingly, this is a
person that calls me on the phone often. So obviously, the so called stars or
whatever have their own clique and they oppress one another and I don't want to
belong to anyone.
But has this kind of rivalry ever
degenerated to physical assault?
Yes once or twice, it got physical with people whom I call friends. You
know, I just got tired of the shouting matches and the disrespect. I realized
that such friendship is not adding anything positive to my life and they are
not feeding me. In fact, one of those actresses told me that I have been in
this industry for long enough and that I should try to find something else
because obviously acting is not working for me. You can imagine an actress say
these to my face and we are on the same set. Everybody's destiny can never be
the same. I cannot be a star the same time as you. I hear people say stuff like
you have been there before her, yet, you are playing a supporting role. For
goodness sake, I don't care so long as I am working, besides I don't need to
appear in every movie to become a star. In other climes, you don't have to
feature in 100 movies to become a star, just a movie is enough to set one apart
for life. Let them not forget that I left the Nollywood scene for five years
yet I am back and still doing what I know how to do best. I think this is no
mean feat. Anybody who is unhappy with that should go question God.
Lately, it was reported in the papers
that you had a quarrel with actress Tonto Dikeh. What is the true picture?
Oh no, we never quarreled. I only read it in the papers just like everyone
else did. We never had any verbal quarrel.
So what is your current relationship
with her?
She is just my friend and colleague that is all.
But it is believed that both of you
used to be very close friend
(Cuts in) Ok, after a while in life some people just grow apart. That was
the only problem we had, there was never any verbal exchange between us. Don't
forget that between us, there were too many friends. Now, I don't even have
time for friendship, which is the truth because I have grown wiser. At a point
in life, people just need to go achieve something and come back. I didn't want
to feel awkward in any relationship that is why I decided to do my own thing.
Tonto is an amazing person. I don't think that I have had any verbal quarrel
with anybody. I am that kind of person who would not confront you but give you
space.
What does friendship mean to you or
who are your friends?
Hmm! The people I have known for over 10 years or people who I grew up with.
Some of them are people who helped me as a young girl. I believe those are the
people who can be real to me because they are only here because we have been
friends for long. I prefer it that way, they are not in Nollywood because
friends in Nollywood usually become jealous after a while.
Does it mean that you don't have
friends in Nollywood?
(Laughs) I do have friends but everybody knows that I don't attach anything
to that friendship thing because it will not change anything about my life. So,
what I have are colleagues not friends.
Your frankness is amazing, where did
you get this boldness from?
Well there is no need to pretend now. I know that the almighty Internet
bullies will still criticize me anyway. However, it doesn't matter because I
can't be living my life for them. Whether many will like to agree with this or
not, I just want them to know that these things happen. People need to hear it.
I am actually very frank and that has cost me a lot because people can't stand
my frankness and bluntness; instead they take it for arrogance. If I am upset
with you, I'll tell you instead of avoiding you and you start asking questions.
It is good to know what you have done to me so that you can apologize, I will
wait for your apology and if I don't get it, I'll move on.
Is it difficult to strike a
friendship with you?
It is not difficult, only when I see the things that don't suit me, and if
you cannot contribute to anything in my life. When you find out that you keep
advising people and they don't advise you, you keep watching out for people and
they don't watch out for you and they don't care what happen to you, back out.
Over the years, I have learnt to keep my mouth shut where I am not being
questioned. I might look very reserved, but the truth is if you have gone
through what I have gone through in life, you will not want to have anything to
do with a friend.
What are these things you have gone
through in life?
I have really gone through many things in my life, it has not been an easy
journey, but I thank God I was not broken. Sometimes people make you lose
confidence in your self and you just want to give up. So I am really happy for
my strength and God. People are annoying and suddenly they are saying things
about me, but it is okay, it means I'm doing something great, because if you
are not doing anything great, they won't talk about you. I am okay now; I am
now overlooking things that are not important. My mother for example has not
had a close friend for the last 20 years, and she tells me it is the best thing
for me, but then I didn't listen, but now I know better.
So what happens after these things?
Well, I forgive but I can't forget their faces. So there are still people
that I see. People that have framed me up severally for things that I have not
done, and I didn't get to hear, and I just noticed that certain people started
behaving funny to me, and they didn't ask me. Eventually after having in mind
that Halima is this and that, they will later discover I'm not that kind of
person.
There was a girl that was duping people; I didn't even know the girl, she
was on my BBM at a point, only for me to start hearing this person is your
friend, she is always using your picture as her Display Picture and I am like,
this girl is a fan, I have never met her before. People would just commit crime
and drop their names as your friend. But now things are falling in place, which
is vindicating me. Now people are now calling me, Halima I am so sorry for all
those times. But when they were attacking me, it was so painful. It has made me
realize that people are not what they seem. Maybe because I have a good and
clean mind that is why these things are happening to me.
You talked like you have been hurt a
lot because of friendship, what is the biggest price you have had to pay for
friendship?
I don't even know right now I just want to be sincere and honest. People
will be surprise that Halima is opening up a lot now that is because I am
beginning to get a lot comfortable with myself. The truth is that I am not
going to take any insult from anyone, so it is better for me not to start
something that I won't finish. My best friend, my family and the one that I
love are the only people close to me now. Friendship these days depends on what
people can get from you, I have met people that have told me, please introduce
me to this person, and that is just because of what they want to gain from that
person and I am like are you here to meet these people or for me? People these
days don't have genuine love for one another, they just want opportunity to
mess things up for you or get something they want. So I have been used
severally, either by a friend or a contact. I have had enough of that.
Has this new approach to life that
you just adopted influence your interactions with guys too?
Guys are amazing, they don't have time for silly gossips, and women do that.
The only men that do that are petty men; I don't expect men to do that. I have
a lot of male friends in the past that people will say, I am dating them and I
will be like how many men am I even dating? Can't I just have them as friends?
Men are very encouraging, and some I didn't give any chance because I just felt
they just wanted sex, but the ones I have had as friends have been wonderful.
How lucky have you been with your
relationships?
I have had very few relationships; I had a boyfriend that died in 2003, and
after that I think I have been in two solid relationships, people might say
that it is a lie, but if anybody knows of any other one, he or she should come
out and say it. I have had only two relationships, and I realize that these
days people are getting headaches over when I will marry and all that, are they
going to live with me, when I get married? Are they going to put food on my
table when I get married? Will they come and live with us, so I won't get
married because of what people are saying. Some of them don't even have a
relationship. They just hate us because we are actresses, is it our fault? So
you don't bring your frustrations into my own name. Most of the rumours on the
Internet are all lies. Some don't even read the interviews before they comment,
when they just see someone's name, they just scroll down to the comment, and
they don't even know what you are saying on the Internet.
Do these things get to you?
No, there are things that I do that I would appreciate a commendation, but
people don't do that. You find out that the good things you do, people don't
read about it, what they want to read about is, an actress dating this and
that, an actress smoking. When you say this person is doing charity, they don't
get to highlight that. They highlight the rumours they hear, and not what they
see or know. If they don't see pictures, they complain; when they see, they say
you are advertising what you are doing. So I have given up on trying to
convince people, I'll keep on doing what I want to do and forget about what
people think. I see a lot of people fighting over my age, and it is silly,
because at this time people don't lie about age. How old was I, when I came in,
how old am I now? People say Halima should keep quiet; she is older than she is
claiming.
How old are you?
I just clocked 29.
I am sure you have read recently that
an oil baron dumped you?
Yes, I have read about it, which is what people love reading about. Somebody
sent a link and that day I just wanted to laugh, I read a comment where
somebody said stuffs, the person is a sad person I think. The person keeps
commenting with a name Lalaland. The person is a hater, always commenting badly
about me, the person is so hateful, I don't even understand why that person is
still allowed to comment.
You think there should be a
regulation on online journalism?
There should be. Why must a person have so much hate, I don't know. You see
one person commenting severally with different names. On this particular, day,
the person said that I was a dwarf. It was so funny, because I don't even know
that person. If you don't like me, why click on my article, why say things you
don't know about me?
Could you please tell us about the
two relationships you had?
I loved them, they were people who encouraged me to be strong and they are
people I have always learnt from.
Is there any serious thing that will be coming out of any of these relationships?
I don't like talking about that, if it happens, it's a good thing, but
nobody should expect any invitation for any wedding. I just want to get married
quietly and live my life in peace and happiness. I don't have time for all the
noise making about weddings and all, trying to make it very expensive and all
that. That money can pay the school fees of many people. If you know me very
well, you'll know I don't get to spend money unnecessarily; I like to save and
do things that are meaningful. You can make a lot of noise about your
engagement, just to let people know you are engaged, but when it comes to the
wedding, it should be with few people who love you. Half of the people that go
to weddings don't go because they love the person, maybe because of people they
want to meet there or what they want to get.
Tell us about the kind of man that
can win your heart?
I already have a man so I don't need any man to impress me. People might say
what they want to say because I don't flaunt my relationship, but I am happy.
What kind of man is he?
For him to still be in my life means he is the kind of person I want, which
is just all I have to say. Despite the fact that we are actresses does not mean
our lives should not be private. But this is my relationship and I refuse to
make it public.
What influence does your background
have on you?
It has just made me stronger, to face the world and the challenges that will
come with it. I am from a very big family, where you have all sorts of people
and that made me to know what to expect from the outside world. After a while I
just became used to the pains, I don't feel it anymore. Sometimes I just feel
like crying, and I force myself, close my eyes and it refuses to come. So I am
now strong that I don't care what people say or do. Right now I console myself,
encourage myself when I do well, scold myself when I don't. I have gone through
so many things in life from every angle.
Tell us about your parents?
My parents are amazing people; they have been married for 35 years now. My
dad is from Kogi State, but I was born in Kano but I still speak our language
(Ebira). In between growing up, it was the same people my parents helped that
eventually got my mum fired from where she worked. Then my dad had problems
too, Savannah bank closed so he went into something different and for somebody
who has been in banking for 19 years, it was a shock, the re-adjustments and
change made a huge difference in our lives. I had to start working, I worked in
a Chinese restaurant, I remember my Chinese boss always told me to kill flies
(Laughs). And I was like, is that what I came here to do? So every day I made
sure I was killing flies. But looking back at those times I just laugh at the
whole thing.
You earlier talked about reading, how
often do you read?
I read a lot, it keeps me going. I read inspirational books; I listen to
preaching from every angle, I do Yoga just to calm my nerve. There is a Spa
owned by some Indian people, I go there and they play Indian songs for me, they
massage me and I sleep off. So these are the kind of things I do. But when I
want to let loose I just loud my music here in my parlour and dance till I am
tired.
Which was your first movie and where
was it shot?
It was shot in Lagos, Surulere, I can't remember the producer now, and we
were all so young and I remembered I featured in like four scenes in the movie.
We did the movie and up till now, they have not released it. So it is quite
frustrating.
How did you get the role?
I went for the audition, my aunt was living in Lagos, so she brought me to Lagos
when I was 14 because I told her I wanted to act and I wanted to come to Lagos.
You won an award last year and you
celebrated with your friends, it must have meant something to you?
I won nine awards last year, so I did not celebrate only one award. Between
last year and now, I have won four Best Actress Awards. I won Eminent Achievers
Award for Best Actress, Global Leadership Awards for Best Actress. I also won
City People awards for Best Actress, and Icon of the Year by my guild, which is
the Actors' Guild of Nigeria (AGN, Lagos chapter). In November last year, I won
Best Supporting Actress at the Nollywood Award in London; I have had
certificates from many organizations. So it makes no sense if I don't celebrate
with people. I just did that to appreciate my colleagues, both the ones that
are happy and the ones that are not happy with me.
If you were to award yourself for any
of the movies that you have done, which movie would that be?
It's my new movie Kiss From A Royal Balcony, and in another one Miss Queen.
In Miss Queen it is a new character for me, I have never played mother of two
before in a movie, so it was kind of interesting to me.
What inspired your new movie?
Nothing really, I just realized what people go through in relationships, and
I see how unfaithful people are in relationships, and there are very few men
and few women that are responsible. In the cast I have myself, Yvonne Nelson
from Ghana, young ones like Lawan, while Ifeanyi Ogbonna directed the flick.
When will the new movie be coming
out?
Hopefully later this year, we just have a few scenes we want to reshoot. So
we are trying to get everybody into town to do that.
Any plans for it to be showing at
cinemas?
No, I am not ready for that kind of stress. I'll have headache-trying to pursue
my money and all that. I don't even have the time to even go to cinemas to
monitor the progress of the movie.
Apart from movie making do you have
any other thing you do?
Yes, I do. I have many things I do. We have a bakery in Kano, but the riots
there now have affected it. Two years ago we got a small plot of land in
Lokoja, and we now have a farm. Poultry farms, fish ponds, we do sugar cane; we
do almost everything except rice. It is my father's company though; the name is
Anacobe and Holdings in Kano, I am the co-chairman.
Our bread is one of the best-selling breads in its area of location.
Our bread is one of the best-selling breads in its area of location.
How rich are you now?
I am not rich, I just have money to spend and keep myself, buy fuel in my
car. That is all. I just want to be successful, I don't have money that will
make me go crazy and make me arrogant and rude to people. I just want enough
for me and my family
and enough to help others.
and enough to help others.
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