DUMB MISTAKES MEN MAKE DURING / AFTER SEX

SQUEEZING YOUR BREAST LIKE ORANGES

Most men act like they are trying to find out if their partner’s tits are silicon bags or naturally endowed. Testing an orange for ripeness should be left for the market place. When it comes to the issue of breasts, tell him to caress, pamper and stroke them. Trust me it makes the sex more fun.

FORGETTING TO KISS YOU FIRST

While it might turn you on if he goes straight for more sensual parts of your body, have u ever asked yourself, am I a hooker? Why is he going straight for the “couchie”?

Unless he’s paying you by the hour, a proper passionate kiss is the best form of foreplay, always remember that.

“ARE YOU COMING”?

Not really? I came like 5minutes ago. You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise when ejaculating and if you missed the time, just keep going, no need to ask.

TAKING HIS PANTS OFF FIRST

Imagine him taking his pants off before sex and then you notice he is wearing socks with Barbie/Pokeman characters printed on them..

BITING YOUR NIPPLES

The nipples are very sensitive and biting them like you’re feasting on a lion-burger will only make things worse. You can’t get a woman’s nipples aroused by biting; you only do so by gently sucking them.

TALKING NASTY AND DIRTY.

You have to blame those overrated sex movies for this kind of shit. Leave nasty talk to sex chat lines. Nasty dirty talk should be done with the consent of the person you are shagging if not it makes you sound like a complete idiotic freak.

GOING ON LIKE A FORMULA-ONE DRIVER.

Hey Buddy, are we in a race? She would one day ask you. In this penis-in-vagina situation, pumping away like an industrial power tool will make her feel like an assembly-line worker. Guys, its sex, not a car-race. Build up slowly, with straight, clean, regular thrusts. If she

LEAVING YOU A LITTLE PRESENT

Disposing a condom is the man’s job. You wore it, you get rid of it.

THANKING YOU AFTER SEX

This makes him look desperate, needy and obnoxious. Thanking a woman after sex is like making it sound like she didn’t enjoy it. Women like sex as much as men. Men come one way, women? OK! They have clitoral, vaginal, blended, fullybody and psycholagnic orgasms.

CLIMAXING TOO FAST OR TAKING HIS TIME TO CLIMAX

Coming too fast makes it look like you just finished watching an episode of  TOM&JERRY. Going on for ages like a warrior chasing a prize will make her vagina sore and her back stiff. Dude, learn to strike a balance.