I have a problem. I have been in a committed relationship with this guy
for a few years and everything was great for the first two years. For
the past few months, we have had issues over infidelity, we never really
get along any more. Each time I see him, we would argue over silly
things. I love this guy die, well I did(do I, now? Eurgh!) but I don't
know how I feel, exactly. I don't know whether na love or comfort. I
feel like we are not moving forward at all. The relationship has broken
down completely and I am trying to salvage the little pieces. The guy
has treated me in all the worst ways possible. He is a pathological
liar, a cheat, everything bad you can describe a man with. He even laid
his hands on me. I don't know what we are anymore. I don't know what we
are doing anymore, I don't know what I am doing.
I have tried my best to just move on but God! I cannot resist him. I have always thought he has juju on me. We will not talk for a month or so and I will make up my mind- right, this is it!! It is over, you can be treated way better than this and deserve better-. I think all of this but the moment he calls, I just run back to him. It has been killing me.
Don't get me wrong I love him but there is no passion, spark, nothing, nada. He annoys me so much now, all the things I use to love about him, now annoys me. I feel like he talks too much and he bores me. When I last saw him, he took me to his university where he does his masters , just to show me around. God! I couldn't wait to get out of there, usually I will be happy that he is spending his time with me. He noticed the way I acted throughout my stay and was upset about it.
I don't want to hurt him, I don't like hurting people but I really don't know what to do.
I tried moving on, met several men but I felt like it was out of my comfort zone. After how long, meeting someone new again and getting in another relationship is going to be another hard work. Emotional spells, tears etc. I don't want to go through it again.
So, I decided that I will continue seeing him because I didn't want to be single and sleeping with any tom, peter and harry. As a woman, many of us succumb to these fleshly temptations so instead of sinning with many guys, let me sin with just one. I take spirituality seriously, but the sin of the flesh is one thing I have fallen for. It is hard, sha. Don't judge me, only God can forgive me.
With that being said, I don't know how it happened but I don't enjoy s£x with him anymore, before all these our issues, he satisfied me very well, he filled me up, literally. Now, when he is in there, I don't feel anything at all. I get turned on when I am with him but that's about it, the s£x is lame. He only does it for him. He would just enter, just like that. No pre-intimacy, no lub, nothing. He thinks I scream from pleasure but believe me the pain nor to small ting. . He is a big guy, in fact too big and by the time he has finished with me, I would be shaking all over, very sore with bruises even to wee sha na problem.
I don't know why all of this is happening. I care about him so much. I know he loves me deeply but I don't know how he can treat me so. I don't want to believe that I am falling out of love with him. I don't want to believe that all the plans we have for our future will just disappear like that. I want to walk away but I don't know how. I try to not call him but he always calls me. I am trying to build myself up so hard so I can just walk away without looking back.
I don't want to love anyone any more because love has killed me. I can't think of any guy now, that can bring me joy. I feel like they are all ba$tards and should be treated with their own medicines. I have always done right by him but he killed me, he killed my spirit, everything! He killed all the emotions I have. Now, I believe love is nothing, we should stop overrating it. I am basically walking around feeling empty. I wish he could just vanish from my life but I also don't want him to. I have been through a lot with him and it is killing me.
I just need advice from those who have moved on from someone they loved so deeply and how they coped with it.
I have tried my best to just move on but God! I cannot resist him. I have always thought he has juju on me. We will not talk for a month or so and I will make up my mind- right, this is it!! It is over, you can be treated way better than this and deserve better-. I think all of this but the moment he calls, I just run back to him. It has been killing me.
Don't get me wrong I love him but there is no passion, spark, nothing, nada. He annoys me so much now, all the things I use to love about him, now annoys me. I feel like he talks too much and he bores me. When I last saw him, he took me to his university where he does his masters , just to show me around. God! I couldn't wait to get out of there, usually I will be happy that he is spending his time with me. He noticed the way I acted throughout my stay and was upset about it.
I don't want to hurt him, I don't like hurting people but I really don't know what to do.
I tried moving on, met several men but I felt like it was out of my comfort zone. After how long, meeting someone new again and getting in another relationship is going to be another hard work. Emotional spells, tears etc. I don't want to go through it again.
So, I decided that I will continue seeing him because I didn't want to be single and sleeping with any tom, peter and harry. As a woman, many of us succumb to these fleshly temptations so instead of sinning with many guys, let me sin with just one. I take spirituality seriously, but the sin of the flesh is one thing I have fallen for. It is hard, sha. Don't judge me, only God can forgive me.
With that being said, I don't know how it happened but I don't enjoy s£x with him anymore, before all these our issues, he satisfied me very well, he filled me up, literally. Now, when he is in there, I don't feel anything at all. I get turned on when I am with him but that's about it, the s£x is lame. He only does it for him. He would just enter, just like that. No pre-intimacy, no lub, nothing. He thinks I scream from pleasure but believe me the pain nor to small ting. . He is a big guy, in fact too big and by the time he has finished with me, I would be shaking all over, very sore with bruises even to wee sha na problem.
I don't know why all of this is happening. I care about him so much. I know he loves me deeply but I don't know how he can treat me so. I don't want to believe that I am falling out of love with him. I don't want to believe that all the plans we have for our future will just disappear like that. I want to walk away but I don't know how. I try to not call him but he always calls me. I am trying to build myself up so hard so I can just walk away without looking back.
I don't want to love anyone any more because love has killed me. I can't think of any guy now, that can bring me joy. I feel like they are all ba$tards and should be treated with their own medicines. I have always done right by him but he killed me, he killed my spirit, everything! He killed all the emotions I have. Now, I believe love is nothing, we should stop overrating it. I am basically walking around feeling empty. I wish he could just vanish from my life but I also don't want him to. I have been through a lot with him and it is killing me.
I just need advice from those who have moved on from someone they loved so deeply and how they coped with it.
Please lady go and sleep!! U dont have a case
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